Hell Is Definitely Where The Heart Is On Jay Portal’s Debut Project

Fresh on the scene is Canadian newcomer, Jay Portal. The twenty-year-old artist is based an hour south of Toronto in Hamilton, Ontario, which also serves as the home of Portal’s collaborator on this project, DBLCRSS. The two teamed up for their first official project, a seven song effort titled Hell Is Where The Heart Is. With DBLCRSS handling the production to accompany Portal’s vocals, the two artists take us on a journey down Portal’s personal River Styx. The result offers a twenty minute excursion through his own hell. marked by heavy alcohol intake, pills, and failed relationships.

Diamond” serves as the intro to the album, and a formal introduction to both Portal and the world he will show us. He not only introduces the project’s title in the first lyrics of the song, but to the overall energy and emotional approach he will take as the project progresses as well. The song includes Horrorcore-influenced raps with distorted vocals and clipping 808s, reminiscent of the sound XXXTenatcion left behind — who Portal cites as one of his main influences. While the in-your-face energy is never quite matched again on the album, it serves as the perfect introduction to this hellish world he portrays throughout the project.

He then brings us listeners back down to Earth with a more traditional melodic trap song titled “Too Hot.” On the track, Portal boasts on a dark instrumental with sinister melodies, painting pictures of getting fucked up one night after another. It is also here where we get the first glimpse of the type of introspection he will open to the listener throughout the album. “Too hot to be outside, to be cold to be wit me” he croons, exemplifying the strong personal awareness that will guide many of the project’s lyrical themes.

As we get into the swing of things, we arrive at the third song on the album, “Motel”, which is a personal favorite of mine. On “Motel”, Portal transports us to his drugged out hazy world where, as listeners, we ‘wake up’ in a trashed motel room, courtesy of Portal and a female accomplice. As Portal orients the listener, we find ourselves in a space where self-control doesn’t exist. It quickly becomes clear that the girl in the room with him is merely an accessory to his story rather than the focal point. She’s just a detail of the chaotic scene; a trashed room, cocaine residue, and the faded pieces of memory to put the night back together. Amidst all the debris from the chaos from the prior night, one thing stays abundantly clear: music, and a career in it, is the strongest substance of them all. His drive to be successful pushed him to the point where he’d willingly trade his soul for a record deal. This deed is usually looked down upon in hip-hop’s culture of authenticity and grinding, yet might serve as his only way out of this room and cycle of behavior he has created.

Track four is an open admission of a relationship tainted by alcohol, drugs, and the type of shallow feelings we feel when off these substances and never really felt anything for the other person in the relationship in the first place. On “You Suck,” he experiences the type of alienation someone only feels when they’re fucked up; “I don’t really care if you don’t wanna fuck with me, that’s just one more person I don’t gotta fuck with” he proclaims. Pretty soon, Portal is faced with a choice. Initially he realizes he’s too drunk to drive but quickly changes his mind with the impulse of someone too off-the-shits to think rationally. It’s here that the vocals cut in and out, much like that voice in your head does when you’re fucked up.

The following track “Beast Boy” marks the low point of the project for me, although not by much. Sonically, the song is as good as any on the record, but the lyrics are the shallowest of the bunch and don’t really add to the strong narrative he has meticulously crafted thus far on the project. However, it is currently the only song off the tape to have an accompanying music video.

The two closing  songs are some of the most important of all as they provide the best look at Portal’s psyche and personal reflection. “This Time” begins with a sample from the movie Breakfast At Tiffany’s where one of the protagonists, Paul, proclaims his love for Holly, only for her to reply “so what?” It’s here that the picture becomes clear enough for the listener to see the source of the demons Portal has been exercising on this project. His inability to reciprocate love, much like Holly, proves to be one of the most consistent themes of Portal’s lyrics and personality. “I don’t got time to fall in love, I only said that cuz I was drunk” he cooly tells the romantic counterpart who I presume to be the same person throughout the album.

The project’s closer, “Alive” does an incredible job of bringing the project full circle. He opens with the words “Damn I’ve been drunk, damn I’ve been high” giving us the impression that this entire project has just been one long drug and alcohol fueled bender that he took us along on the ride for that’s finally coming to an end. As passengers on this journey through hell, we may be surprised that Jay made it out okay on the other side, but he isn’t. “I am alive, I am alive” he reassures us. But, if you thought this journey through hell changed him, you’re wrong. He’s still off the liquor, still off the weed and if a girl tries to tie him down, well, “baby, good luck.”

While the lyrical content certainly embodies many of the connotations that accompany the project’s title, the process of putting it all together brings its own meaning to the table as well. When I asked Portal the significance of the title, he explains when a person wants something, in order to get it, there is going to be a struggle, there’s going to be hell. Perhaps there is no better example than the process through which he put Hell Is Where The Heart Is together. Over a year, and thirty something recorded songs later, it seems Portal finally accomplished what he was going for; a stellar debut project that will serve as a more than suitable introduction for his undoubtedly promising career. 

Stream the full project down below.

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