The Northern England-based Instagramer reflects on his transition from a popular fan account to a flourishing artist in his own right.
In a secluded cafe in Leeds, diverted from the typical bustle of the Northern city on a Saturday evening, Heroine Diaries sips on water. Sitting opposite, clad in chains and an array of tattoos, it’s impossible to miss the young artist despite the chaotic city’s best efforts. With various face tattoos – a rainbow just below his eye – this statement of memorability is one he’s well aware of, relishing “it’s iconic, you can’t forget a rainbow.” Similar to his individualistic aesthetics, the sound of Heroine Diaries has become increasingly distinctive. His expressive discography, intoxicating melodies, and lucid raps have transformed him into an unforgettable rising presence. Reaching over one million plays on “Bad Love Breaks Hearts,” Heroine Diaries’ influx of singles has left him with a growing cult following.
Yet despite this exponential growth, Heroine Diaries only transitioned into creating music at the start of last year. Prior to this time, Heroine Diaries ran the iconic GothBoiClique fan account (@everythinggbc) on Instagram — an occupation he still proudly attests to. The account originated in 2016, taking off in activity after Lil Peep’s Hellboy release and growing in popularity over the following year. What started as a way for him to promote the collective gave way to close relationships with the members and other music affiliates, even flying out to the United States on occasion to link up after connecting online. Living almost every fan’s dream, there’s a sense of blissful irony in the fact that three years later, Heroine Diaries now has fan accounts dedicated to himself.
While Heroine Diaries has enjoyed longtime immersion in underground music, it wasn’t until March of 2018 that his first song “Free Youngboy” premiered under the moniker Sad Halloween. Although Heroine Diaries assures that the rap track is long since buried, it marked a significant change for the blossoming artist. A dark period in his life–one characterized by depression, unemployment and lack of direction–became enlightened. Idealisticalistic musing stemming from listening to his favorite artists became following through with creating his own sound, as well as the conscious decision to better his mindset. Regularly channeling this angsty outlook in brooding lyricism generated a positive outlet for Heroine Diaries, ultimately leading to the initial stages of his project.
After three months of experimenting, the entity Heroine Diaries came into existence. Despite his @everythinggbc personality earning him friendships with various artists, his presence initially remained lowkey, as many did not know about his music until later down the line. Heroine Diaries remains affiliated with GothBoiClique and fans frequently question potential collaborations. He explains how although this would be great, it is not a priority because he would never want to put someone in a position to feel obligated to work with him, asserting, “my friendship with them is more than music and is outside of music.” While Heroine Diaries professes the importance of networking and surrounding himself with other artists for inspiration, he also asserts, “I’ve never been on no clout chasing shit and I think they see that. I’ve always been genuine with everyone and always will be.”
Heroine Diaries’ own artistic progression has produced a collection of memorable tracks inspired by impactful personal struggles and escapist teen dramas alike. Although he grew up listening to Chief Keef and Young Thug, he confesses that the artists who had the most influence on his current works are along the likes of 6dogs, guccihighwaters, and, of course, GothBoiClique. Referring to his vocal diversity as a “male Lana [Del Rey] with worse singing” and more monotonous, spaced-out rap, Heroine Diaries takes these influences and experiments with unique production to create a new direction. The intimacy of Heroine Diaries’ lyrics is what especially brings his sound to life as personal themes serve as recurring discourse. With bars like, “Get out my face you make me sick/Bump of ket that does the trick,” Heroine Diaries has not held back with his relationship with substances, commenting, “I thought I needed drugs just to live but this year opened me a bit… You don’t need drugs to be ok, you can be ok.”
One of the defining moments of the past year for Heroine Diaries was the premiere of his first music video on the popular underground channel sad chill. The track, “Bad Love Breaks Hearts,” is a dynamic collaboration with Euan as visuals roam the Scottish countryside and streets. With dramatic mountainous shots, it is a fitting companion to their anthemic vocals. The response to their efforts on “Bad Love Breaks Heart” was generally positive, but amongst warm comments were some controversial comparisons to Lil Peep and Lil Tracy. On this matter, Heroine Diaries simply states, “I’m guessing it’s because I’m black, he’s white. I don’t really care about it because I know it’s not true so it’s like they can say it; it’s a comment and a view at the end of the day.” Having already proven to be a force to be reckoned with on their collaboration “Hometown Heartbreak,” Euan and he intend to return to their initial idea of creating a tape together in the future.
With plans to quit his day job in construction, which he finds draining to balance alongside his artistic endeavor, Heroine Diaries hopes to hone in on future projects. However, a more secretive element underpins his creative process which adds to the difficulty of composing. Despite his emotional vulnerability broadcast to thousands of strangers online in his evocative style, he keeps this life private to his family with whom he lives. Living as an almost double agent, he confesses how difficult it is to produce music while anyone is about, stating, “the thoughts and the music is too personal for them to hear it.” Escaping from his hometown with links and friendships initially built through @everythinggbc, he often finds himself crossing the transatlantic — initially, for an Underground Underdogs show, and then a Lil Tracy show. Although his day-to-day surroundings at home act as little inspiration, America is both a getaway and vessel, with Heroine Diaries energized in seeing his friends and the recording process at work.
Despite gravitating to shows in the U.S., Heroine Diaries expresses hesitancy over performing live, citing his perfectionist tendencies. “In everything I do, I want to be big and iconic. That’s why I waited so long to do a video, and look at the video — for a first video that shit is incredible, that’s why I have no album out, no EP out.” Anxiety also plays a role in his reluctance to perform. It is an issue he struggles with alongside producing, but Heroine Diaries determination to overcome is as apparent and unrelenting as work ethic. Often burying songs for months until friends encourage him to release them, he acknowledges the stressful side of making music, saying, “I don’t want to disappoint the fans, I don’t want to let them down, so yeah, I kinda get worried that they’re not gonna like it.”
Despite these stressors, Heroine Diaries warmly reflects on how the response his work earns is something he is motivated by. As we discuss how it feels to have fan accounts dedicated to himself on social media like Instagram, he enthuses how surreal it is to have listeners often messaging him about how his music has helped them. “It blows my mind everyday,” he confesses in regards to how his outlet has not only bettered his own life but the lives of his listeners. Soaring on this momentum, Heroine Diaries reveals that a crafted roll-out plan for his first self-titled release will go ahead in the coming months. With such an emphasis on his first project being grandiose, this release is one to look forward to thanks to it being full of surprises. Although his current releases dabble between genres, he intends to ascend this direction, retaining his blueprint while experimenting with more “alternative, Jaden Smith-type, Bon Iver-type, Post Malone-type pieces.”
Taking steps in both his music and personal life, with plans to visit his girlfriend and friends in America before returning to England to lock-in with producing, the past year has been a landmark for Heroine Diaries. From being a fan account alone, he has since transformed both his platform and personal life. No longer trapped in the grasps of his hometown, he revels on plans for international collaborations, enthusing about potential future works with Rawska. Having freed himself from the facets of life dulling his creativity, Heroine Diaries appears full of newfound confidence as he explains plans to be increasingly centered around music, intending to drop singles every few weeks.
With this improving mentality and anticipation over upcoming music, he adds on a message to his listeners and fans. “I’m not going to be depressed forever, situations change, my life will change, therefore I will change. The music will change, but I hope the fans can grow with it and stick with me regardless.” Working towards a healthier outlook, the young artist’s mindset and music have monumentally developed over the past year. While Heroine Diaries represents a unique starting point into music, it is one in which he continues to thrive.