Rarely do two separate worlds meet in perfect bliss. However, chemistry loudly blooms between both Lil Lotus and Horsehead on their collaborative EP i did this to myself. While both Goth Boi Clique veteran Horsehead and Boyfriendz member Lil Lotus have worked in groups before, Lil Lotus x Horsehead will be remembered as an extraordinary bright spot in both artists respective careers. The heartfelt joint effort spans four tracks long, with each song running under the guise of sincerity and brokenness.
The extended play begins with “chemical,” a smooth emo guitar trap track with intertwining verses between both Lotus and Horsehead. Although both hold their own with verses about feeling damaged in the world, Lotus proclaims:
“I’m kinda sad but I kinda make money though // And I got friends but I like to spend my time alone // It’s nothing personal, it’s just the chemicals // It’s just the chemical, and I can’t let it go”
Coming out of the up-tempo 808 led “see u around (prod. reaper),” “i don’t think that u see me (prod. discent)” is perhaps the strongest song on i did this to myself. Throughout the song, Lotus croons about how his life now has “no meaning” without his love. Horsehead, meanwhile, solemnly sings about how he is now “scared to be alone” without the person he loves the most. The instrumental by producer discent masterfully compliments both Lotus and Horsehead’s coinciding ranges, but also encapsulates the despair within their lyrics.
Taking the chorus of the song, Horsehead solemnly conveys heartbreak:
“I don’t feel like you see it, you’re the one that I needed // I’m falling to pieces, I just hope that you see this // But I’m blind to the reasons, and I love you through the seasons // You’re my winter, spring, my summer and my fall // I don’t think that you see me at all”
The earnest and pop punk esque song “september (prod. discent)” closes out i did this to myself. Lotus and Horsehead sound crisp from top to bottom on “september”, singing about how a past lover made a decision that they proclaimed to never have wanted to make. Both leave listeners to ponder upon their own forgotten loves, harmonizing the final line of:
“This is never what you wanted”
The alternative emo genre has grown massively in the past couple of years, and will only continue to expand with artists like Lil Lotus and Horsehead prospering. While Lil Lotus and Horsehead are presumably hard at work on their next solo albums, you can catch both performing with their respective collectives at Emo Nite Day in October, and you can catch Horsehead live in Boston August 29th.