When I asked the reserved and enigmatic producer killedmyself if he would be willing to sit for an interview, he graciously agreed. At UU, interviews are usually done via audio or in text. Given his private and quiet nature, I wasn’t surprised when he simply replied with “text.” If you’ve listened any of the producer’s music, you would learn he doesn’t seem to have much to say, or at least not with words anyway.
UU: I hesitated starting off with this question, but how did this all start for you?
For sure. Well I started getting into the underground music around 2012, listening to mostly riddim and other EDM genres. And I’ve always been interested in sampling. Things kind of went from there when I decided to produce myself. Got more into hip hop around early 2014 when I got into Bones, Wulf, and the like.
UU: I’ll admit, when I first saw your name come up as a recommendation on SoundCloud back in 2016, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised. The song was “i wrote this song 4 u” by Lil Bo Weep produced by yourself. The vocals were soft but so was the beat. Was having such a polarizing name such as killedmyself while producing soft low tempo trap beats intentional?
Haha yea, I get that often. I didn’t even know she was working on one of my beats until it was already out there. It started out as ‘y n g k m s’ in the sad boy era of SoundCloud, but I’ve always kept that style going since then.
UU: After discovering that track – which I later would find out is called “when did it matter?” off your Backyard Cemetery II album, I went back and listened to that album as well as some of your earlier work. Shortly after, you released “Stay Where It’s Safest.” Where did the inspiration for the sound come from? You mentioned earlier EDM-type genres and rap likes Bones, but your sound – while having great beats – doesn’t mirror them too much. Would you agree if I were to describe your sound as a bit more somber yet wistful?
Absolutely. The sad vibes will always be there, but I like to keep a hopeful tone in the instruments as well. In the right mood some of them can be just as uplifting as they can be sad. I really got into the sound when the surrenderdorothy tapes were released. There was nothing quite like that sound back then. Been inspired since then.
UU: I’ve seen you mention Greaf – the producer/person behind the beats in surrenderdorothy. Is he someone you draw inspiration from?
Without a doubt. Without Greaf this path in the genre would not have been paved. That’s something I think a lot of the producers in this scene do not appreciate enough. There are few pioneers in underground hip hop and I believe he is one that’s left out [of the discussion] too often.
UU: I can see that, honestly. As someone who is familiar with Greaf’s work with Bones, I’ve always been impressed with how much Bones’ vocals transforms when the two come together. Do you think it’s the producer/instrumentals that – in this case Greaf – enables the vocal transformation?
It’s definitely the relationship between both artists that creates it. A perfect middle ground between vocalist and instrumentalist. One isn’t taking more stage in the tracks than the other. And in surrenderdorothy’s case, you can tell the focus isn’t on vocal expertise. It focuses all on emotion. No fancy vocal work, no complex instrumentals. Just emotion.
UU: I like that, as it leads me to my next question: One recurring theme I’ve noticed throughout out your music are the little quotes sampled from old movies, new movies, and seemingly the most niche or random interviews. How do you decide what samples to use? And how do you come across some of these lesser known interviews and quotes?
For sure *laughs* I used to spend an hour each night sifting through YouTube videos, old and new. That’s the main method I find odd samples that I think can hold weight. Other times I’m watching films and find a scene that can fit the mood just right with what I’m working currently. For example, I’ve used many samples from Mark Twain’s ‘Mysterious Stranger’ on many of my tracks
UU: With all the time and work that goes into your music, whether it’s looking through YouTube videos for quotes or the creation process itself, something else that’s stuck out to me is that your SoundCloud bio is “everything I make is free to use.” Quite a few artists have used your tracks – Lil Bo Weep, Atlas, OmenXIII to name a few. You do get producer credit for those tracks, but what is the idea behind making the tracks free to use for other artists to use?
I mean I just don’t like the idea of exclusive instrumentals. I don’t have much free time yet to work on my tracks so by the time I finish one up that I’m really happy with I’d rather let 100 different people use it than locking it down exclusively for one person.
UU: That’s fair. Though I have to say, my own observation is that people tend to focus more on the artist singing or rapping on the tracks. Is there a sense of satisfaction from having someone take a track you produced blow up after they sing/rap over it? Do producers get the credit they deserve for creating the instrumentals when other artists provide the vocals?
Producers have a lot of influence in this scene, but I’d still say no. Even they don’t understand the importance they can have at times *laughs* In 2013-2014 Instrumentalists were at the forefront of SoundCloud, each pushing their sound or style farther and farther. It was a crazy time for sure. Things have died down a lot since then, but I really do feel like that can all happen again. I love when an artist uses my instrumental or one from my friends and really gets it out there. For a producer there’s nothing quite like seeing people enjoy what you’ve created in a whole new way.
UU: With the amount of music you’ve been putting out and from what you have planned, it sounds like artists will have plenty to work with. I’d like to thank you for taking the time to sit down and answer questions. Do you have any closing comments or shoutouts you’d like to give?
No doubt, I appreciate you for having me on. I’d mainly like to give thanks to OmenXIII for being the first artist to find me back when I had like 200 followers he really encouraged me to take music more serious. And a thanks to B…. for giving this sound a pulse to begin with.
